Yes, We Need to Talk About Downsizing… Don’t Make It Weird
Every Christmas, you head back to your childhood home and think the same thing: this house is getting too much for them.
You arrive ready to relax, only to find Mum and Dad still running flat out — climbing ladders, tending gardens, and maintaining rooms that barely get used. It’s familiar, and quietly worrying.
We’re all thinking it, but rarely say it out loud. It might be time to talk about downsizing.
The good news? It doesn’t have to be awkward. With a little honesty, empathy and humour, one conversation can open the door to a safer, easier and more fulfilling next chapter.
At Lincoln Place, we’ve helped more than 3,000 Australians navigate this transition. Read our tips for starting the conversation, or download our fact sheet to explore the next steps.
Our top tips for downsizing chats
1. Start with their dreams, not the endless home maintenance routines.
Blurting out “I think you should downsize” is the conversational equivalent of dropping a lead balloon in a quiet room.
Instead, gently explore what Mum or Dad want their next few years to look like:
- More time for who and what they love?
- Less stress, for all of us?
- No more holding your breath when the latest bill arrives in the mailbox.
When they share what would make life easier, you can explain how downsizing to a right-sized home, with financial-freedom and a connected lifestyle could be the answer they’re looking for.
2. Honour the Feelings (and the Memories)
Your parents aren’t hesitant because they’re stubborn, or because they just love vacuuming 10 empty rooms each week. Their home might hold decades of stories, and letting go is emotional.
Acknowledge the weight of it:
- “I know how much this place means to you, and to all of us.”
- “It’s normal for this to feel big.”
- “Leaving this place doesn’t mean forgetting the memories.”
This keeps the conversation grounded in empathy, not persuasion. Show them that it’s a step you all have to take – to mourn the place you all once called home.
3. Understand the options and keep it simple
Downsizing comes in all shapes and sizes. Whether it’s living independently in a smaller home, moving to an over 50s lifestyle community or something more restrictive like retirement villages or aged care, understanding the benefits and downfalls of each model will help them take the next step.
So, what’s the difference?
4. Decode the Finances Without Turning Into an Accountant
The financial side of downsizing can be intimidating—but Lincoln Place’s land lease model is refreshingly simple.
It usually includes:
- Lower entry prices compared with traditional retirement villages or full homeownership
- One simple weekly site fee covering shared facilities and common-area maintenance
- Potential eligibility for Commonwealth Rent Assistance
- Lower utilities and upkeep thanks to modern, efficient homes
- Freedom to choose your own selling agent and retain 100% of capital gains
- No refurbishment fees on exit
- No deferred management fees (DMF)
Clear, transparent, manageable. And way easier to discuss than trying to explain cryptocurrency to your parents.
Estimate site fees and compare living costs with our quick online calculators.
5. Focus on Lifestyle, Not Logistics
This next chapter isn’t about shrinking their world – it’s about expanding it.
Research shows older Australians thrive when socially connected. Lincoln Lifestyle provides just that: clubhouses and wellness centres, community gardens, craft and workshop spaces and friendly faces at every turn. Plus an ever-expanding calendar of events, so there’s always something to do, should they want to take part.
And with the added comfort of a gated community, they can enjoy genuine safety, security and a lock-and-leave lifestyle — freedom to travel, visit family or simply step out for the day knowing their home is looked after.
From wine-tastings to movie nights at the theatre and barbeques with mates, it’s less “slowing down” and more “living larger.”
6. The Gentle Art of Suggesting a Tour
Instead of pitching downsizing like a sales rep, try something softer: “Why don’t we check out a few communities together? Just a look.”
Wandering through a modern, low-maintenance home often shifts the vibe from “scary change” to “hmm… I could see myself living here.”
Lincoln Place lifestyle estates make the idea even easier to picture:
- Brand-new, energy-efficient homes
- Minimal maintenance
- Security and peace of mind
- Social clubs and amenities that turn neighbours into friends
It’s exploration, not pressure.
7. Keep the Chat Open, Not Final
The holidays are a start, not a deadline. Let the conversation breathe and respect their pace.
And remember: this isn’t about telling them what to do. It’s about helping them explore possibilities with honesty, care and humour.
Download a fact sheet, or share one with your parents to get the conversation started.
For You and Your Family
To make the real conversation even easier, we’ve pulled everything together into one very handy (and very real) fact sheet. Think of it as your cheat sheet for smoother chats, clearer explanations and fewer family-group-text meltdowns.
For Your Parents
If telling your parents “I think this could be great for you” feels like stepping into dangerous territory, don’t worry—we’ve made you a handy shortcut.
This fact sheet is designed for them, with the information they actually want and the reassurance they need. Share it with them to keep the conversation going.
A New Chapter (That Doesn’t Have to Be Awkward)
Downsizing isn’t just a move for your parents. It can be a way to support their independence, comfort and wellbeing — while giving you peace of mind too.
The holiday season often brings families together, making it a natural moment to start the conversation. No pressure. No awkward pitches. Just space to explore what life could look like next.
Sometimes, simply seeing a place in person can change how it feels. Take a look together, ask questions, and move at a pace that suits everyone.